What is the history of your small group?
We began as a young married group; there was one infant in the group, but there were no active children involved. Then in one year, there were 5 pregnancies, and we had a group of adults and preschoolers.
• When we had preschoolers, we continued to meet on weeknights. One of our members was a school teacher and she organized the children's time, and we all took turns leading that time with the children.
• When the children became school-age, we found that we couldn't meet on a school night any more and we began to meet on Fridays and we hired a babysitter. At that point we didn't have a specific program for the children. They would watch a Veggie Tales movie during our prayer time, but nothing else was organized.
• For a time we met for a study on Friday nights with the children, and then one Friday a month, we would all get sitters and the adults would go out for dinner. When all the children were in the elementary school, we took advantage of a mid-week children's program.
• Now, we are at a season when groups have Saturday morning commitments, and lots of evenings are filled. So we have a rotation. On one week the men meet, and on the alternate week the women meet. Once a month, we meet as whole families. We may have an outreach project or do a one-off study or activity together. The children are eager to see each other, and usually aren't with the adults.
We haven't been a closed group. There is a core of 3-4 families that has continued, but others have participated in the mens' group, the women's group and in the whole family group. joined in over time.
What are some costs and benefits of having an Intergenerational group?
• The group is a shared community for children and adults. The children are part of a larger spiritual family; they call the other adults in the group “auntie” and “uncle.” The other children in the group are their closest friends. They go to the same church service and the same midweek club, and sometimes deliberately enrol on the same sports teams and activities. Their parents are friends, they have been in each others' homes. Throughout the month, the children ask, “When is the next kids' night?”
• The adults share life with the other adults. They continue to have challenging studies, and they can see that their children are enthused and rooted in a strong community of believers. In the summer the families have picnics or go camping together.
• We realize that we could never replace what we have these relationships.
What is The bottom line?
Part of the solution is that each group needs to find out what works for them.
My Reflections:
The remarkable longevity of this group provides a few lessons. These families have created balanced long-term rhythms of family and group life. They came to these by paying attention to their own needs, and by tenaciously holding on to their values. The results of 12 years of meeting together are evident. The children are spiritually grounded both in knowledge and in confidence. The depth of community and trust and openness among adults and children is undeniable.
What is the secret? It was not the focus of a weekly group time that included time together and time apart. It was not in deliberate instructional time for the children on a regular basis. Instead the focus was on longevity of relationship for the sake of building a faith community. This longevity came through frequent association. As the families deliberately chose to participate in the same church services, children's activities, the children developed the anticipation of seeing the other children and their families. As well, the group did not take on more than they could handle. The need for sustainability affected the way that needs could best be met. Childrens' formal instruction took place in the home, in Sunday School, and in church clubs. Yet the children learned important life values through the group. They learned:
- that faith and mission are an important, if not the most important basis for ongoing association; that faithfulness over time yields lasting fruit;
- that there is joy in being together.
Some groups will have more resources to create exciting shared learning events with adults and children together, and some churches may provide resources and curriculum for that purpose. Some groups may be culturally ready for the full inclusion of children, youth and adults every week. What we can learn from this group is this: The goal of developing a sustained life of faith in community is achievable through a variety of paths, and that the individual group has the best knowledge of their own situation.
